Sunday, February 1, 2009

Men and Their Balls

just have to say that I absolutely hate football. I do not get it. At all. But does this fact make me un-American?

I’m watching the Super Bowl tonight with family and friends. (By “watching” I mean I’m on my computer and trying to block out the infernal racket.)
I'm wondering about the un-American part because the whole event seems wrapped in the American flag. Not just the Star Spangled Banner. We also got America the Beautiful and an armed services color guard. Then the fighter jets. And the fireworks. What does any of this have to do with football?

By admitting I hate football, something that has become such an accepted foundation of Americana, am I un-American?

I will never understand the game, its appeal to the masses and especially why grown men are happy to go out on a hard field, dressed in cumbersome and uncomfortable equipment, usually in bad weather and then willingly get the shit beat out of themselves week after week. Damn, sounds like fun to me. I know the money is really, really good if you are one of the few who actually make it to the pros. But the downside - the injuries, the limited window of opportunity to make those big bucks, did I mention the injuries? When I see a player on TV discussing his latest injury and whether it will end his career or not, I just want to reach through the screen, slap them and say “Stop It! Grow up and get a real job where you don’t have to worry about blown out knees, concussions, paralysis or permanent brain damage!”

Men and their balls … go figure.

But it is the wrapper of patriotism that is really bugging me tonight. I don’t think I am unpatriotic. I have a pretty definite view of when public displays of patriotism are appropriate and when they aren’t. I could rant on the subject of patriotism for hours. But I won’t, not today anyway.

I will just say, somewhat smugly I admit, that tomorrow I will be executing one of the most patriotic acts a citizen of this country can perform. I will present myself at my county courthouse tomorrow to perform my civic duty. I’ve got jury duty. Of course I am doing this because I was summoned and the idea of a bench warrant issued in my name if I don’t show up is fairly motivating.

By the way, did I mention that I hate football?

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